“Hello, dear. I’m talking to the members of the N.R.A. right now. Would you like to say hello? I love you, and I’ll give you a call as soon as I’m finished, O.K.? O.K., have a safe trip. Bye-bye. Talk to you later, dear. I love you.” –answering a cell phone call from his wife during the middle of a speech to the NRA
“I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I’m one of them.” –on being exposed to the same health risks as workers at ground zero after the 9/11 attacks
“We don’t all agree on everything. I don’t agree with myself on everything.”
“Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.”
“Oh, you dirty boy! Donald, I thought you were a gentleman.” –while dressed in drag, after having his “breasts” fondled by Donald Trump (Watch video clip)
“F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room.” –to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation
“There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today.” –prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters
“You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.” (Watch video clip)
“I had something picked out for you, too – a little IED (improvised explosive device) to put on your desk.” –to Jon Stewart
“I think I’d just commit suicide.” –on the prospects of the Democrats taking back the Senate in the 2006 elections
“Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.”
“You sit down with your attorneys and tell you what you have to do, but obviously the president of the United States has to do what’s in the best interest of the United States against a potential threat.” –on whether he would consult Congress about invading Iran
“My sons are all adults and they’ve made decisions about their careers and they’ve chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I’d be a great president.”
“PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air.” –on strapping his dog to the top of the car
“Well, the question is kind of a non sequitur, if you will. And what I mean by that — or a null set.” –after being asked during a Republican debate whether is was a mistake to invade Iraq
“I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I’ve been a hunter pretty much all my life.” (Romney’s campaign later said he’d been hunting twice, once when he was 15, and once in 2006 at a Republican fundraiser
“I’m not a big-game hunter. I’ve made that very clear. I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will.”
“I’m happy to learn that after I speak you’re going to hear from Ann Coulter. That’s a good thing. I think it’s important to get the views of moderates.” –right before Coulter called John Edwards a “faggot”
“Hugo Chavez has tried to steal an inspiring phrase ‘Patria o muerte, venceremos.’ It does not belong to him. It belongs to a free Cuba.” –invoking a phrase that translates to “Fatherland or death, we shall overcome,” which Fidel Castro has used to close his speeches for years, and which is associated with Cuban oppression
“I’m afraid that the Soviet Union and China are not ever going to do anything that’s going to hurt them that badly but we need to ratchet those up if at all possible.” –on how he would deal with Russia
“Gosh, no one has told me that there’s any major reserves in the Everglades, but maybe that’s one of the things I need to learn while I’m down here” –after being asked his position on oil drilling in the Florida Everglades
“In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died — an entire town destroyed.” –on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people
“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” –on Barack Obama
“I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS. There’s no shame in being tested for AIDS. It’s an important thing.”
“You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. … I’m not joking.”
“I’m pretty sure there will be duck-hunting in heaven and I can’t wait!”
“If a person dresses provocatively, they’re calling attention — maybe not the most desirable kind — to private parts of their body.” –after being asked whether he’s against miniskirts
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman
Mayor Giuliani dressed in drag getting picked up on by Donald Trump… ouch
Rudy Giuliani makes for a horrible looking woman.
Trick Question About 9/12 Stumps Giuliani
Rudy riding the 9-11 wave… all the way home, but comes to a little dip along the way.
For a man who probably does not surf, he sure knows how to ride a wave. A big wave… maybe straight to the White House at that. It’s the Rudy 9-11 wave and he is going pro!
That wave has taken him from City Mayor to Candidate for President.
Kinda like his Chief of Police who went from Rudy’s driver, to Police Chief, to Candidate for Director of Homeland Security candidate… thats quite a journey for a man with known Mob ties and criminal activities.
Anyway, this made me laugh.
GOP presidential frontrunner Rudolph Giuliani stumbled badly at a town hall meeting in Iowa last night when an audience member baffled him with a trick question about 9/12.
Mr. Giuliani, who has made references to 9/11 the foundation of his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination, was “like a deer in the headlights” when the surprise question about 9/12 came his way, observers said.
The former New York mayor had been cruising through the town hall meeting up to that point, answering a wide range of questions about immigration, the economy, and global warming, all by referring to 9/11.
But the tone of the event changed abruptly when one audience member, Tracy Klujian of Cedar Rapids, asked the GOP frontrunner, “Can you name one thing that happened on September 12?”
Mr. Giuliani seemed taken aback by the question, clearing his throat and drinking from a glass of water as if to buy time before responding.
“That’s a good question,” Mr. Giuliani said. “September 12 happened one day after September 11 — and we must never forget the lessons of September 11.”
Mr. Giuliani’s aides later said that their candidate had expertly parried a difficult question, but also offered excuses for Mr. Giuliani’s apparent failure to refer to any other date besides September 11.
“The man has a lot of dates to keep track of,” one aide told reporters. “For one thing, he’s had three different wedding anniversaries.”
Elsewhere, President Bush eulogized Washoe, the chimp who had a 250-word vocabulary, issuing this official statement: “Me miss Washoe. Me sad Washoe dead.”
You know you’re a Republican if you can’t stand your gay uncle, but you invite him to your son’s wedding because he’s rich.
You know you’re a Democrat if you can’t stand your rich uncle, but you invite him to your daughter’s graduation because he’s gay.
You know you’re a Republican if you support George Bush’s plan to put a man on Mars.
You know you’re a Democrat if you want that man to be George Bush.
You know you’re a Republican if you think Colin Powell might make a good President, if he weren’t black.
You know you’re a Democrat if you think Colin Powell might make a good President, if he weren’t conservative.
You know you’re a Republican if you think every Democrat is a closet Communist.
You know you’re a Democrat if you think every Republican is closeted.
You know you’re a Republican if you wouldn’t mind if the Commonwealth of Massachusetts seceded from the Union.
You know you’re a Democrat if you wish the Republic of Texas had never become a state.
You Know you’re a Republican if you start off on third base and think you’ve hit a triple.
You Know you’re a Democrat if you hit a single but believe you deserve a triple because the other team got one.
You Know you’re a Republican if you believe the U.S. Constitution clearly supports strip mining.
You Know you’re a Democrat if you believe the U.S. Constitution clearly supports strippers.
You Know you’re a Republican if you can’t fathom that Abraham Lincoln was actually a Republican.
You Know you’re a Democrat if you can’t fathom that Abraham Lincoln was actually a Republican.
10) “Over 100 years, I think the gradual erosion of the consensus that’s held our country together is probably more serious than a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings.” –Pat Robertson, on the dangers of judicial activism
9) “Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court.” –Pat Robertson
8) “Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.” –Pat Robertson
7) “I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you, This is not a message of hate — this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.” –Pat Robertson, on “gay days” at Disneyworld
6) “(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” –Pat Robertson
5) “I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that’s the way it is, period.” –Pat Robertson
4) “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there.” –Pat Robertson, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial
3) “God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says ‘This is my land,’ and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, ‘No, this is mine.’ … He was dividing God’s land. And I would say, ‘Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.’ God says, ‘This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'” –Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke
2) “Maybe we need a very small nuke thrown off on Foggy Bottom to shake things up” –Pat Robertson, on nuking the State Department
1) “You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war … We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.” –Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez
Bonus Stupid Quote:
“Wait a minute, I didn’t say ‘assassination.’ I said our special forces should ‘take him out,’ and ‘take him out’ can be a number of things, including kidnapping.” –Pat Robertson, clarifying his call to assassinate Hugo Chavez
Extra Bonus Stupid Quote:
“Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him.” –Pat Robertson